Change it

Does it ever bother you that life has so much more to offer than you are living? Does it bother you that most of the walls and the roadblocks in your life are all in your head? Does it bother you to know that the years behind you are gone and you will never get them back and all you have is whats in the future? Does it bother you that you have no memory of most of the days of your life because you didn't actually "live" those days? It bothers me!

What beliefs are holding you back? Why is it so hard to change? What if everything you tell yourself isn't true? What if you aren't too old yet? What if you aren't too young? What if you can be good at music? What if you the best years aren't behind you? What if you could be outgoing or funny? What if non of your excuses are true? What if nothing is the way it is because it has to be that way but rather because you have chosen for it to be that way?

If you could change it, what would you change?

I Need to Record More Music

Today was a full and fun day. I just got home from church where I was blessed to both lead worship and preach. I am always humbled that anybody comes. Earlier today I spent several hours working on music that I hope will one day make its way to YouTube. I want to be more consistent with my recording projects and at the same time make them better. I have had a handful of people tell me that the little bit that I have done has made a big difference in their lives. It is unbelievable to me that such a small thing could be used in such big ways. I feel like I need to keep pressing forward with music.

Shut Up Uncle Rico

I haven't written anything in the last couple days. Laziness crept in and took control. I started listening to the voices in my head telling me that its useless to spend a few minutes a day writing. The funny thing is that the voices in my head have personalities. I can almost picture a man telling me that no one needs to read what I write and that it's pretentious of me to even put my thoughts out there. He has a mustache and he tucks his t-shirt into his wranglers. He kind of reminds me of uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. Anyways, he talked me out of writing for a couple of days.

I get trapped trying to write something worth reading and my own criticism slows me down. I know that if I'm a perfectionist I will not produce anything because I'm not perfect and I never will be, but  maybe if I can keep myself writing I'll get a little better every day or at least every month and eventually I can shut up uncle Rico. Maybe, eventually I'll communicate something that helps somebody. Maybe I'll just experience the freedom of expression without the need to produce anything great.